A Very Long Engagement

December 16, 2006, Our Lady of Mount Carmel Shrine Parish
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Location: Makati City, Manila, Philippines

The question of life is "Why?" The answer is "Why Not?"

Monday, July 31, 2006

DIY Project: Unity Candle

The unity candle is lighted during the ceremony. It's actually optional and it will also depend on the church if they will allow but since Mount Carmel allows it, we thought it would be nice to have one.

This is one of our DIY (do-it-yourself) projects and I did it all by myself. No sweat... I think I was even able to finish it in less than 20 minutes. *clap* *clap*




Here is a closer view. I just realized i can also be creative. pretty noh? Syempre love your own! Ney has not seen this yet since he left the house already before I even started on it. I know he will love it!

Kuya's 34th Birthday

This is a late post but I have been busy in the office and has not been able to upload the pictures until this morning. My brother invited us to his birthday lunch at Red Crab, Greenbelt.


Side Kuwento: Red Crab is one of our (me & honey) favorite places to dine in. We both loved their Szechuan crab. Crab Maritess only comes second.









Here is my sooo cute nephew, our ring bearer and his mom, our cord sponsor.











After lunch, my nephew got his haircut at a barber shop (forgot the name?!) in Glorietta. Gosh! He's a big boy na... time flies so fast talaga.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

This was shared by Ms. Ade Sy-Singson to the w@w community. A long read but a really nice one. A must read for married couples (may you be on your 1st year or 5th year or 10th year or 25th year) and for soon-to-be married couples. Enjoy reading...

How can a couple prevent adultery? Dr. Willard Harleyin his book His Needs, Her Needs: Building anAffair-Proof Marriage provides some answers. He has found that marriages that fail to meet a spouse's needs are more vulnerable to an extramarital affair. Often the failure of men and women to meet each other's needs is due to a lack of knowledge rather than a selfish unwillingness to be considerate. Meeting these needs is critically important because in marriages that fail to meet needs, it is striking and alarming how consistently married people seek to satisfy their unmet needs through an extramarital affair. If any of a spouse's five basic needs goes unmet, that spouse becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair.

First, let's look at the five needs of a wife. The first need is for affection. To most women affection symbolizes security, protection, comfort, and approval. When a husband shows his wife affection, he sends the following messages: (1) I'll take care ofyou and protect you; (2) I'm concerned about the problems you face, and I am with you; (3) I think you've done a good job, and I'm so proud of you. Men need to understand how strongly women need these affirmations. For the typical wife, there can hardly be enough of them. A hug can communicate all of the affirmations of the previous paragraph. But, affection can be shown in many ways such as: kisses, cards, flowers, dinners out, opening the car door, holding hands, walks after dinner, back rubs, phonecalls…there are a thousand ways to say "I love you." From a woman's point of view, affection is the essential cement of her relationship with a man.

The second need is conversation. Wives need their husbands to talk to them and to listen to them; they need lots of two-way conversation. In their dating life prior to marriage, most couples spent time showing each other affection and talking. This shouldn't be dropped after the wedding. When two people get married, each partner has a right to expect the same loving care and attention that prevailed during courtship to continue after the wedding. The man who takes time to talk to a woman will have an inside track to her heart.

The third need is honesty and openness. A wife needs to trust her husband totally. A sense of security is the common thread woven through all of a woman's five basic needs. If a husband does not keep up honest and open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust and eventually destroys her security. To feel secure, a wife must trust her husband to give her accurate information about his past, the present, and the future. If she can't trust the signals he sends, she has no foundation on which to build a solid relationship. Instead of adjusting to him, she always feels off balance; instead of growing toward him, she grows away from him.

Financial commitment is a fourth need a wife experiences. She needs enough money to live comfortably: she needs financial support. No matter how successful a career a woman might have, she usually wants her husband to earn enough money to allow her to feel supported and to feel cared for.

The fifth need is family commitment. A wife needs her husband to be a good father and have a family commitment. The vast majority of women who get married have a powerful instinct to create a home and have children. Above all, wives want their husbands to take a leadership role in the family and to commit themselves to the moral and educational development oftheir children.

Preventing Adultery: His Needs Now, let's look at the five needs husbands have. The first is sexual fulfillment. The typical wife doesn't understand her husband's deep need for sex anymore than the typical husband understands his wife's deep need for affection. But these two ingredients can work very closely together in a happy, fulfilled marriage. Sex can come naturally and often, if there is enough affection.

The second need for a man is recreationalcompanionship. He needs her to be his playmate. It is not uncommon for women, when they are single, to join men in pursuing their interests. They find themselves hunting, fishing, playing football, and watching sports and movies they would never have chosen on their own. After marriage wives often try to interest their husbands in activities more to their own liking. If their attempts fail, they may encourage their husbands to continue their recreational activities without them. But this option is very dangerous to a marriage, because men place surprising importance on having their wives as recreational companions. Among the five basic male needs, spending recreational time with hiswife is second only to sex for the typical husband.

A husband's third need is an attractive spouse. A man needs a wife who looks good to him. Dr. Harley states that in sexual relationships most men find it nearlyimpossible to appreciate a woman for her inner qualities alone--there must be more. A man's need for physical attractiveness in a mate is profound.

The fourth need for a man is domestic support. He needs peace and quiet. So deep is a husband's need for domestic support from his wife that he often fantasizes about how she will greet him lovingly and pleasantly at the door, about well-behaved children who likewise act glad to see him and welcome him to the comfort of a well-maintained home. The fantasy continues as his wife urges him to sitdown and relax before taking part in a tasty dinner. Later the family goes out for an evening stroll, and he returns to put the children to bed with no hassle or fuss. Then he and his wife relax, talk together, and perhaps watch a little television until they retire at a reasonable hour to love each other. Wives may chuckle at this scenario, but this vision is quite common in the fantasy lives of many men. The male needfor his wife to "take care of things"--especiallyhim--is widespread, persistent, and deep.

The fifth need is admiration. He needs her to be proud of him. Wives need to learn how to express the admiration they already feel for their husbands instead of pressuring them to greater achievements. Honest admiration is a great motivator for men. When a woman tells a man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more. He sees himself capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level.

If any of a spouse's five basic needs go unmet, that person becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair. Therefore, the best way to prevent adultery is to meet the needs of your spouse.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Our Own PictureTrail


Finally, I was able to take a few pictures of our wedding paraphernalia last Saturday. And I was able to create our own PictureTrail... yipeeey!! Please free to browse...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Tabora Trip

Last Saturday (July 1) was our first trip to the ever-famous-place-for-soon-to-be-brides "Tabora" and will probably be our last. Ney swore we will never go back there again. bwahahaha!!!!

Our Tabora trip started with a lunch at Gateway food court. He ate his usual (by "USUAL" I mean that it is his usual menu whenever we have lunch at Gateway) rice topping with pork siomai from Dimsum & Dumplings and I had a 2-piece KFC original chicken (2 pieces because he'll have the leg part). By the way, the Strawberry Chill Tea of Dimsum & Dumplings is a must try!

Then off we went to Divisoria. Unfortunately, yung jeepney na sinakyan namin ay hindi tumuloy after reaching yung start ng traffic. So we had to walk only to find out na sa may 168 Mall pala kami dinaan. We asked the guards kung saang side yung Tabora Street and Tutuban Mall since the last time we went there to see Leonie Bautista eh we were able to take FX at sa Tutuban Mall kami binaba. It seemed mas malapit yung Tabora from where we were so we tried to find our way. Eh Juan Luna (I think) pala yung binabaybay namin and at the end of that street is the Tutuban Mall. Since we are meeting with Ms. Leonie rin, we decided to go there first and ask her na lang how to go to Tabora... really clueless?!?

It was great seeing Ms. Leonie (our 3rd meeting) since I got sooo excited again with my bridal gown. It will now be an off-white gown since feeling ko mas classic & elegant ang dating. I kept imagining how my gown would look like... the long train... the long veil... *daydream* to the max talaga! I also got swatches for my ento gowns.

Ms. Leonie taught us how to go to Tabora. Finally, we were able to find our way. Si Ney nainitan sobra... kawawa naman. And siguro it's a Saturday afternoon kaya madami ring tao. We were not able to find much... just abaca (or so I thought) wrapping for the gifts of the principal sponsors... small flowers to match (promise exact shade of our motif)... not much really...

When we went back to Gateway on our way home, I bought this pink sweat pants from L.A. Gear and pink sando from Folded & Hung which are both on sale. This is my wedding preps outfit plus the hoodie I'm getting from w@wie Ade (thanks sis!). I even made sure that I can take off the sando pababa para hindi masira ang aking hair hehehe! I'll post my outfit next week... I'll take a picture this weekend.

Other updates: done with the missalette, printing na lang for Mt. Carmel's approval... bought na the gifts for the male principal sponsors, wrapping na lang... still have to find the materials for the gifts of the female principal sponsors... still have to buy the candles... finalizing guest list... finalizing song list... less than 6 months to go... not bad, right?